Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
