I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
A+ Viking dick
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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