who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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