I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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