Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
