So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
