After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
