Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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