please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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