Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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