speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
