He had one of those small greek statue penises
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
