i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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