Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
