So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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