My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
