haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
