I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
