No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
