What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
