she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
this is an emotional support booty call
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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