Kiss
Puke
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
