I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
