I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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