Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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