This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
