The maid of honor just puked.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
