I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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