I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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