i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
