I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
