I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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