she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
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