U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
