I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
