If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
