someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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