As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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