margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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