I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
