Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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