He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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