I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
