I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
