Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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