Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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