I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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