The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
