So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
