Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Oh god it's open bar.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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