i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
