she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
