Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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