we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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