margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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