You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
