Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize