My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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