my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
