your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
