Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
