I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
