After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
